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THE INSIDE SCOOP!

By Sherri

Men, listen up.  I am about to unlock some of the best kept secrets of your women.  This is the stuff they won’t tell you, but also the stuff they desperately want you to know:

WOMEN HATE TO PRIMP!

Part 1: THE TRUTH ABOUT SHOWERING:

Yes, I know “you think” your wife likes to take those lengthy luxurious showers, followed by sensuous strokes of painting nails, the perfected application and rinse of exfoliates, followed by the  strategic treatment of fruit fragrant lotions and creams.

This is a façade. Let’s face it, showers can be a real pain (literally) – although the excuse to not deal with the kids or answer the telephone, can be a bonus. Do you men have any idea how hard it is to shave one’s legs?

Yes, I know, you think it is a piece of cake. We have seen you delicately shaving your faces, carefully examining your face close up to the mirror. To put it into prospective, imagine not only shaving in the dark, without a mirror, but doing it on one leg often in a totally contorted position, with conditioner running into your eyes. Did you notice your precision was minimized?

I don’t know about all of you, but the lighting isn’t exacting pristine in my shower, nor are all the walls you sometimes need suddenly to rely upon - fixated. (I am referring to that thing called a door or in some cases a shower curtain.)

If you are lucky enough to have the shower curtain, you may recall, or be able to capture the essence of trying to shower while being attacked by a plastic curtain that has its heart set on becoming one with you.

Also, men have a much smaller circumference to consume control of, where women have a vast area to conquer, often within small time frames, not to mention small showers. There are special positions to assume both for creating a straight plain for tackledge, and another to avoid ones soapy lubrication from being washed away completely. This is very tricky to accomplish!

It doesn’t stop with legs as you may know, there are arm pits and other far more sensitive areas where accurate bearings are essential. None of these areas can be viewed clearly which has to do with not only lighting, but other bubbling body parts, lack of flexibility, and a deficit of an extra set of eyes.

Men if you think getting a nick is bad on your face, you should try one under your arm (where one applies deodorant), or where the rubber meets the road (referring to under the elastic on our undergarments!)

During this shower time, a women does not only achieve physical harmony with your physical body, she also has an out of body experience. This is generally the only time she has interrupted, so she makes the most of it. She plans the days meals, goes over her calendar of errands or appointments for the day, she goes over the dialog she will soon assume with her husband regarding the difference between the sink and the dishwasher, along with the verbiage to her boss regarding her next promotion. She will punish herself for that bag of chips and chocolate bar she just consumed, and praise herself for remembering to place a new clean towel beside the shower, bringing a new into the shower with her that day, and replacing the toilet paper roll (since kids her bladder can only hold out for so long and unlike her husband, she prefers to relieve herself in the actual toilet.)

Most of us women have gotten this whole shower scene down to the minute the shower’s hot water is spent, a gravity defying - award winning accomplishment in my eyes. Unfortunately no male in the household seems to share this achievement or want to jump in to our celebration.

Once the loofa has been properly executed and all conditioners, and exfoliates rinsed off, her days counselling session completed, and the shower sufficiently squeegeed down, she usually exits the shower exhausted, quite unlike our refreshed male counterpart. This may account for the lifted eyebrow response from your wife when you ask her if she enjoyed her shower.

Stay tuned for Part 2

Finding the perfect gift for your wife is probably one of the most difficult things for a husband to do. It is very frustrating to spend serious time looking for the perfect gift for your wife and see a look of disappointment on her face when she opens her gift. Below I have listed a few ideas that might help you find the perfect gift for your wife.

A gift for your wife is much harder to think of, than it is to find. Start thinking early, July is a good time to start thinking about Christmas. Asking your wife for gift ideas is a good way to get a start. When you ask listen to what she says, write it down, and then listen to her hints. When ever she says ‘look honey isnt this nice’ she means it so write it down on your list. Take her ideas and use them to find the perfect gift.

Diamonds are womans best friend and a perfect gift for your wife. Though they are expensive they will light up her face like nothing else. The setting of the diamond can almost double the effect that the diamond will have on your wife. Diamonds can be set in earrings, necklaces, or even put in her wedding band. It is also important to give the diamond when the moment is right. So put some thought into how you are going to give you wife a diamond.

For those of us who cant afford a diamond, breakfast in bed will make a great gift for your wife go a long way. The key to making this word is to surprise her and then keep surprising her all day. Do everything you can think of to make it her day, do the dishes, take her out to dinner or even write her a love note. Do whatever it is that you think she will appreciate. Then top it off with a small gift at the end of the day.

A gift for your wife doesnt have to be big or well planned if done spontaneously. A simple rose or bouquet of flowers can make a huge impact if you do it unexpectedly. My wife told me of a man that bought a dozen rose for his wife every week. She then commented that she wouldnt like that because there was no surprise. Women love to be pleasantly surprised. However you surprise your wife try to make it special and make it look like you planned the whole thing.

When looking for a gift for your wife, make it thoughtful and fun. She will love you all the more for it. Diamonds, breakfast in bed, and flowers are just a few of the things that work as a gift for your wife. There are so many ways to surprise her and let her know that you care. Just try to make it something that she will brag to her friends about and start early.

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